I wish I had some Pie

So I think I'm recovering rather well from this little surgery of mine. I can't talk however, and swallowing water hurts.

I am proud of myself though, as far as whole foods go, I managed to eat almost an entire biscuit today. Hooray! The pain medicine they game me makes me vomit, so I am currently narcotics free.

Ben gave me an opportunity that makes my life look a hell of a lot better right now. Too bad I have to worry first about paying freaking laclede gas, ameren UE, cingular, etc. Never before have I felt so idiotic with finances. But I'll be a good tenet, I promise.

My family has been treating me really well with me not feeling so good. It's really nice that they are so willing to spend countless boring hours in my apartment with me while I drool and whimper.


All over the news people are freaking out about gas. "they're holding out on us!" a woman trills. Well people, you insist on constant drilling for oil, then nature blows your whole fucking operation down. Like I declared in the past - War on Mother Nature! We'll make magnetic ribbons for cars and everything.

I'm sitting here withing for foods I can't eat. Lasagna, blackberry pie, salt and vinegar chips, french toast. Even if I do get a bite it'll taste like blood and pus. haha de-lish.

enough griping for now.

Oh, and Ben, Y: The Last Man is fantastic. I'm waiting to borrow the next few books from John and Jenna. You should check it out.

Stagnation Changes.. a paradox?

A great period of both Stagnation and incredible financial and physical changes approach. It began last week, the climax arrives Friday, and it all just mellows into the same old shit sometime after that. Can't say I'm happy about all this. It's very difficult to feel the force of an unforeseeable future push you to make permanent decisions in life.

At least I still enjoy my new job. Although I haven't had a day off in a while. I'm becoming an excellent cook, and surprising myself with my own inventiveness when it comes to rotting vegetables. However as my skill in producing mass quantities of yummy grub increases my skill with a knife decreases. I cut two fingers at the same time today and went clear through the nail on one. All these band aids and I'm starting to look like a modern day mummy. Or a little kid ... all I need are grass stains on the knees. Also, I have been commissioned by John to bake a few things for the Royale. That's pretty cool I guess.

I am being forced to sign a six month lease with my landlord. I guess there isn't really any force involved, just a lack of options. Tessie has decided that most every apartment we looked at is too expensive at this point. Unless it's affordable enough for one person, then split in two, she can't do it. So I will stay in my lousy little tenement of a home until March. I also fought with Laclede Gas today. They are thieves. It's unbelievable. Budget billing and a 95 dollar gas bill from "winter usage" when I didn't have heat until January. Bullshit. So now I've quit the budget billing and owe 198.30 by the 26th. Some day I will have a lovely little home with a pot bellied stove for burning wood and heating my home. In some ancient cultures it was very common to build stone into the floors immediately surrounding the fire to heat the floor. I think that's what I will do. So eat that Laclede Gas.

"I had tampered with the mystery of existence and I had lost the sense of my own being."
I started reading Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin.

I have a lot of things that I'd like to write about but the public library only allows 60 minutes per person per session.